Peter (15) and Simon (15), sons to a peasant farmer Maximilar (40’s) live under the sole care of their mother as the father was pushed out of home by the need to fend for the family hence hardly finding time to spend with the family at home. Due to harsh economic times, Maximilar confesses that she relied on the children as her source of labour without considering the need to give them time to attend to their studies and to play. The children were responsible for fetching sufficient water for family use from a water source that was a distance away from their home and attending to the family farms every morning and evening. Maximilar says, “On no occasion would I have imagined the need to have a family meeting with the children to understand their needs and ideas on how best I should care for them. My children were only there to be seen and I viewed them as inferior members of the family without any valuable idea to share”.“I heard about the skilful parenting programme through the head teacher at my children’s school. This training lasted about four months. I was hesitant at the beginning but now I feel happier about caring for my children. Before the training, I would feel overpowered by competing responsibilities which made it almost impossible for me to create time for understanding and molding my boys’ behaviour. I was really ignorant about the best ways of guiding my children’s behavior hence I had constant conflict with them.” This narration gives insights into the link between parenting practices and behavior outcomes in children. While highlighting the positive changes that she realized after attending skilful parenting training, Maximilar states “Since I attended this training I understood that violence does not help”. According to her and her peers, violence and crime that children are subjected to often emanate from the behavioural challenges that they face in their early childhood. To help her children demonstrate a change of behavior, Maximilar adopted the newly acquired Skilful parenting skills and put them in practice back at home. She started investing her time and resources in her children as a means towards creating a safe family environment for them besides influencing their behavior modification patterns. She currently appreciates the need for family meetings that she regularly organizes as an avenue for open communication and discussions with her children.
Philip; a model father from Nango Village in Siaya County- Kenya is among many fathers who have broken gender norms to regard parenting as a shared responsibility thanks to our skilful parenting training in the NITUNZE project. >>